Bryan Lambert is my hero. brightens my day.

“OBAMA’S Civilian National Security Force is HIS way of FORCING US TO PAY FOR HIS PRIVATE ARMY!!” – If there is an emblematic image of 9/12 that will be burned into our retinas forever, it will be this, the single greatest teabagger sign in the history of teabagger signage.

This has it all. Paranoia? Check. Random Internet conspiracy theory? Words two through five inclusive. The inescapable semantic conclusion that the sign-holder would be fine if Obama had a private army as long as he wasn’t paying for it? Oh yes. But the best part is the sweet, sweet hypocrisy. Because between 2001 and 2008, the Bush administration had a method for getting people like Jimmy Signholder to pay for his private army. It’s called deficit spending (which teabaggers hate) on no-bid contracts to Blackwater.

Blackwater, which changed its name to Xe around the same time it reset its “X Days Since Our Last Civilian Massacre” sign, is a goddamned private army. That’s its mission statement. And this guy paid for it for seven fucking years, and never made a sign or marched on Washington or got off his ass for any reason beyond wiping it with Osama Bin Laden toilet paper. But that’s because Blackwater was real. This Civilian National Security force is much more dangerous because, being completely fictional, it’s capable of ANYTHING. And I’m sure there are all kinds of atrocities Blackwater never committed that this guy thinks Obama’s private army is capable of. I mean, I can’t think of anything worse, but I clearly lack the imagination necessary to carry out the horrors of 9/12.


2 Responses to “Bryan Lambert is my hero.”

  1. maggie Says:

    No no no. BrYan Lambert is MY hero.

  2. thelittlevagabond Says:

    Oops. Noted.

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